The Ecclesiastical Council for Family Affairs
About the Council
Marriage is one of the Sacraments of the Coptic Church. It is a union between one man and one woman for a life blessed by God. There are very few reasons for the dissolution of marriage. This is in contrast to civil divorce, which is easy in California, especially if there are no children and no problem with the distribution of assets. In civil court, the husband and wife can simply declare that there are irreconcilable differences between them. The judge can then consider the marriage dissolved and grant them legal divorce.
In the Coptic Church, adultery is the major reason for divorce. Another reason for divorce is a change of one of the spouse’s faith. Usually the couple receives legal divorce through the civil courts. However, if one of them wishes to get married again in the Coptic Church, he/she has to receive permission from a church council to remarry. This council is called the “Ecclesiastic Council for Family Affairs” and is usually made up of several priests headed by a bishop. The permission is usually given to the individual not at fault. This person is then allowed to re-marry in the Coptic Church.
Council Procedures
The Ecclesiastic Council for Family Affairs is comprised of several experienced priests chosen by the bishop. They usually meet once a month to discuss cases presented to them. One of the priests acts as secretary, setting up the agenda for the meeting. Prior to getting to the council, the local parish priest tries to resolve the marital problem if there has not yet been a legal divorce. Often the couple meets with several priests to gain advice from each. Often, a referral to a professional marriage counselor is suggested. When there is an impasse, and certainly if a civil divorce is granted, the case is referred to the council based upon the request of one or both spouses.
Cases are assigned to a priest who studies the situation, holds interviews with both individuals, and collects documentation prior to presenting the case to the Council. Documents may include proof that one of the divorced spouses has remarried, a written declaration by one that he/she has a relationship with another person, or other relevant documents to the case. At the Council’s meeting, the priest to whom the case is assigned presents his findings. A discussion follows and a decision is made.
Outcomes of Cases
If there is ample evidence against the other spouse, permission to remarry is granted. If there is not enough evidence or documentation available to make a decision, the investigative priest is asked to look further into some aspects or issues. If it is not possible to meet the individual under scrutiny, a certified letter is sent. An explanation of certain unclear or disputable issues is requested. If there is no response after a reasonable period, that person forfeits his/her right and the judgment would be in favor of the other spouse. Both sides may be found to violate Church doctrine and no clearance would be given to either person.
In rare cases, an annulment is declared, which is as if the marriage did not happen. The main reasons for annulments are that the marriage was based on fraud or misrepresentations such as:
One person was already married either in Egypt or elsewhere. Hence, his/her statement of clearance is fraudulent and the marriage is invalid.
One of the spouses has a physical problem that was not disclosed to the other person. This includes but is not limited to a serious illness prior to the marriage e.g. cancer, heart condition, or tuberculosis…etc.
The man/woman was presented to be a virgin while he/ she was not. This is sometimes difficult to prove and requires investigation and proper documentation.
Mental illness prior to marriage e.g. schizophrenia, obsessive behavior, or other mental disorders. This situation requires the opinion of a mental health professional as to the probability of timing the beginning of the illness (prior to marriage).
Misrepresentation of facts such as pretending to be rich or holding a high position, which influenced the other party in accepting the marriage. The situation often occurs specifically when a man living in the U.S. goes to Egypt to find a bride.
Inability to have a sexual relationship either for medical or psychological reasons. This is usually found in men, but occasionally in women as well.
Prior knowledge by the woman that she cannot conceive and bare children, which is unbeknown to the future husband.
In annulments, the victim is given an outright permission to remarry. The person who erred would be given strict conditions if he/she requests permission. He/she has to show complete disclosure of his/her situation and condition to any future prospective spouse. Annulments are very few. Many are denied due to lack of evidence.
In other cases, the spouses are asked to reconsider. Some spouses try, while others may not, and may leave the Church, get a civil divorce and remarry outside the church. Sometimes women with children, simply accept the marital separation and stay separated raising the children alone. If the financial aspect is contested, it has to go through the courts.